Grieving the Loss of a Pet: Understanding the Process and Finding Peace

Losing a beloved pet is a deeply painful and personal experience. For many, pets are not “just animals”—they are companions, family members, and sources of unconditional love. As a therapist who specializes in pet loss grief, I want you to know that your feelings are valid. Grief after losing a pet is a normal, healthy response—and it doesn’t follow a straight path.

Let’s take a look at the common stages of grief and how to care for yourself along the way.

Denial and Shock- This stage often appears in the hours and days following your pet’s passing. You may feel emotionally numb, in disbelief, or like you're just going through the motions. It’s also common to be consumed by memories or images of your pet. Some helpful ways to cope might include holding a memorial or ceremony for your pet and inviting family or friends to share their favorite memories. Give yourself permission to take time off from your regular routine. Be easy on yourself and find those who can give support and comfort you. 

Feelings of Separation- As shock wears off, emotions like sadness, anger, anxiety, and despair often surface. You may feel their absence in your daily routine—morning feedings, walks, cuddles on the couch. These moments of silence can be deafening. Helpful ways to cope may be journaling about a memory with your pet during the time you’d usually spend with them. Sometimes looking at photos or videos of shared moments can bring a smile or moments of happiness. Another helpful tool can be joining a pet loss support group or leaning into the support system you have found. 

Disorganization- Life may start to feel scattered. You might feel restless, unfocused, or resentful when you see others with their pets. You may not know how to fill the time your pet once occupied. Try to spend time with loved ones during those moments of emptiness. You can create a memory box or keepsake area with your pet’s belongings. Find ways to honor their life—donate to an animal shelter, volunteer, or create something in their memory. 

Reorganization- Over time, you begin to find a “new normal.” Grief doesn't go away, but your relationship with it changes. You start to find peace in remembering, rather than only pain in the absence. Support others going through pet loss by sharing your story. Light a candle or share a memory during holidays or anniversaries. Continue honoring your pet’s legacy in meaningful ways. 

Grief after pet loss deserves the same compassion and support as any other kind of grief. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone—and support is available. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to move at your own pace.

Written by: Dr. Austin Shugart, LPC